Sacrificing Control

Today's post is part of a blog link-up with Blessed is She!  If you are looking for an amazing community of Catholic women and great devotionals, I really encourage you to check them out!  Today's #BISsisterhood topic is sacrifice.

Sacrifice is defined as an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

I let that definition soak into my heart as I thought about what to write today.  

Something valued for something worthy.

I thought about what others have sacrificed for me in these past few months, what our Lord sacrificed on the cross for mankind, what I've sacrificed for others…my mind wandered.

What have I sacrificed?  Comfort? Peace of mind? Health? Sleep?  Hot coffee? My body? Happiness?  No, not any of those things.  Control?

Control.  Something valued for something worthy.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

Control is a funny thing.  We really don't have any at all, but we love to pretend.  I have always been guilty of thinking I have control over my life (or at least some control), despite the fact that God has tried over, and over, and over to show me that I am seriously stubborn mistaken.  

This week's lesson?  You cannot control a toddler, and they are much more persistent than you will ever be.

What was that, Mom?  Don't climb on the table?

I sat with Thomas last night, complaining talking about how uncertain everything is, and how out of reach a "stable life" feels for us.

"I just never thought this is where we would be nearly four years into our marriage..." I carried on.

Lord, please bless this man.  He is so patient with me in my humanness.  But, You knew he would be, after all…You are God.

And really, isn't that the point?

God is God, and I am not.

God is GOD.  I am NOT.

Little old me, one of God's beloved children…I do not get to see the future, or know precisely how the sky will fall next (will I ever be physically capable of running and playing with my children? Is this pregnancy our last? Will we ever see the end of our financial struggles? The list goes on).  I am not in control.

I am not in control.

And for me, dear friends, that is a true sacrifice...and one of God's greatest blessings to me.

I don't need to worry about the future!  God has my story already written, and His will will be done!  Oh what a relief it is to rest in Him.  I can live with HOPE because that is what he has promised me; hope for a future.  It may not be the future I imagined, but His version of my life is so much better than anything I've ever come up with.

"There were scars before my scars
Love written on the hands that hung the stars
Hope living in the blood that was spilled for me
Oh, control, it's time
Time to let you go" 
- JJ Heller, Control

Praise be to God, I am not in control.