"…And so we wait in joyful hope"

This summer has been one of such joy!  Simple days full of family and friends, both near and far.  New experiences and new appreciation for re-learned skills.  We're working on jumping (like an inch) in PT now!  Watch out, bounce houses…I'm coming for you! ;)

Our sweet girl is growing beautifully, smiling and cooing, and the little mister is going to be TWO in less than 10 days!  God is so, so good.  

After to many phone calls and a few backflips through red tape, I will be starting another round of IVIG tomorrow morning (yesterday, I started writing this a few nights ago).  As nervous as I am (why do I still get nervous?), I am also excited because this round of treatment will be done from the comfort of my own couch!  Praise God for home care!!  Instead of spending the week lonely, I will be having "coffee dates" with amazing friends who have offered to be my hands and feet this week while I'm attached to an IV.  I am so beyond humbled every time I sit and think about the angels God has placed in my life.  There are no words…you are each more of a blessing than I could ever possibly explain.  Thank you is simply inadequate.

Attending Mass with a newborn is a funny thing.  Just when I think we have prepared perfectly (the baby is fed, the toddler is in the nursery, we actually remembered the checkbook for the offering and our clothes are clean), little miss proves me wrong.  Between feedings, diaper changes, and where is that pacifier again, I'm not sure I have actually heard the homily in over a month.  As a result, I have been trying to really meditate on the phrases that I do hear.  

"…and so we await with joyful hope the coming of our savior Jesus Christ."

What a beautiful reminder.  Waiting with joyful hope…not anxiety or fear...sadness or doubt, but hope…joyfully.  

Living each day with hope, knowing that this world is not our home, that He has something more beautiful than we could ever realize waiting for us.  Even in the midst of suffering and pain, I take comfort this hope for a future with Him.  Consider this life nothing but joy, dear friends.  For God's desire is not a perfect life on this earth, but perfect peace resting in His will.

Saying Yes

Today's post is part of a blog link-up with Blessed is She!  If you are looking for an amazing community of Catholic women and great devotionals, I really encourage you to check them out!  Today's #BISsisterhood topic is obedience.

I am a planner by nature.  I generally do very well with life, as long as whatever happens was part of my plan (I can hear God chuckling at me now).  By the time I was 15, I had the next ten years of my life beautifully laid out in a neat little timeline; I "knew" when I was getting married, when I would have my first child, when we would buy our first house, and how many children we would have.  My plan was beautiful, it was perfect, and it left no room for life to actually happen.

I spent the majority of my teen years and a good part of my twenties fighting God's will for my life.  I couldn't understand why He was allowing all of these seemingly terrible things to happen to me.  "Why me?" was a running track in my head, and it wasn't pretty.  I was depressed, anxious, and angry that my perfect plan wasn't working at all like I'd hoped.

I don't remember the exact moment, but at some point I woke up in life and realized that I wasn't in charge.  I knew, of course, that God was in control of my life, but I didn't believe that He was in control.  I was exhausted from trying life my way, and longing for something I just couldn't find.  It was time for a change, and that change was obedience.  It was time for me to humble myself and say yes to God's will for my life.

I wish I could write that the moment I said yes to God life became a garden of sunshine and roses, but that's not how He works.  God doesn't want us to suffer, He wants us to grow.   

Being obedient to God and saying yes every day is messy, but it is beautiful.  Several people have asked how I can remain joyful through all the sufferings of life, and I'm slowly learning the answer; obedience to Christ's will for my life.  When I submit to His will, I have nothing to worry about because I've stopped trying to make my plan work. It's freeing and brings me so much peace, in spite of whatever suffering is asked of me.  I can suffer with joy in my heart, because I know God is using every part of my life for His glory…every moment is an opportunity to grow closer to Him, to say yes and watch Him work.

The morning offering has become one of my favorite prayers because it reminds me to say yes every day.  I love to meditate on the words and soak them into my heart.

Morning Offering
Dear Lord, I do not know what will happen to me today. I only know that nothing will happen that was not foreseen by You, and directed to my greater good from all eternity. I adore Your holy and unfathomable plans, and submit to them with all my heart for love of You, the Pope, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Amen.

"Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be
You pledge yourself to me, and it's why I sing
Your praise will ever be on my lips." - Bethel Music

Rejoice. Be Patient. Persevere.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer." - Romans 12:12

Yesterday was one of those days.  The days that God speaks loudly in your ear and says "I hear you, child. See how much I love you?".  An answered prayer in a very big way for our family.  He hears us…and oh, how He loves us!!  There were smiles, lots of cheering, and tons of gratitude.  There was also a fantastic trip to the park with my sweet boy, which filled my heart to the brim.  All that happiness and rejoicing.  My strength for today.

Today is one of those days.  The ones that force you to search yourself for strength you're not sure you have.  The days that push you to rely on something bigger than yourself…to admit that you can't do life on your own.

These are the days that bring me to my knees.  The days of rejoicing. The days of patience.

Today I am having a repeat EMG/NCS test to see how the first round of IVIG (prayerfully) improved my nerve health.  The test takes about an hour, and isn't terribly pleasant (it involves electrically stimulating my nerves and putting needles in my muscles).  It is not as bad as a spinal tap, but would much rather be snuggling my baby toddler.

Today, with even more intent, I choose joy.  I am choosing to rejoice in the hope I have been given.  I choose to be patient during the suffering of the tests, and to persevere in prayer that the tests show some improvement.

Today's goals:
-Rejoice
-Be patient
-Persevere
-Wear pink

Choose joy.

Using Our Gifts

Sometimes I feel like Jonnah in VeggieTales.  God's calling him to go to a place he isn't comfortable, so Jonnah tries to travel the other way, while (of course) singing "LA LA LA…I CAN'T HEAR YOU!".

Yep.  Been there.

But when you do finally choose to answer God's call, whatever it is, something wonderful happens.  Souls are saved.  People are brought to Christ.  And the world is just an all around better place for you having followed His plan.  Kinda makes me wonder why we don't just do it His way the first time…but we are human.

So in the weeks prior to my long hospitalization, I felt God calling me to community with other moms.  I am part of a few moms groups, either through the hospital where I delivered, or just through good friends.  They are each lovely and I'm SO grateful for them, but my heart was longing for something more.  I wanted to join a Catholic moms group.  I searched and searched, and couldn't find much of anything for young Catholic moms out there.  How can that be?  There were at least 15 other couples in our baptism prep class, who all (prayerfully) have children the same age as my son.  Where are they?  Are they lonely, too?

As I stood in the back of mass each week with a toddler that wouldn't keep still, sharing knowing glances and smiles with other moms, God made something very clear.  If I wanted an amazing group of Catholic mamas to share in this journey of motherhood with me, I would have to step outside myself.  I would need to "take chances, make mistakes, and get messy" as Ms. Frizzle would say…God was calling me, and I was afraid.

"But, God…" I would think to myself, "surely someone else has already created an amazing network with a fantastic website and tons of activities that I can just show up to…you don't really want me to start something myself, do you?"

The short answer? Yes, yes I do.

Gulp. (Cue the shaking and sweaty palms that accompany being picked last for teams in gym class)

But what if no one joins?  What if I set everything up and end up sitting alone in Starbucks staring at my phone pretending to have a really funny conversation with someone via text? (anyone been there? no? just me?)

"But what if you're NOT alone? What if there's a whole community of moms out there just dying for someone to stand up and say 'let's be friends', 'let's walk this journey together'?"

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." - 1 Peter 4:10

Here I am, Lord.  I will go.

It is with awesome excitement (and severe anxiety) that I share with you the first steps in answering God's call to fill this longing in my heart: Catholic Moms of Montgomery County!!

I am teaming up with an amazing mom at St. Rose of Lima who had the same dream I did (I see what you did there, Lord) and working to expand the small play group at our home parish.  Catholic Moms of Montgomery County is a group for Catholic moms with little ones who are looking to fellowship and connect with other moms raising their little ones in the church.  With a combination of play dates, prayerful events, moms night out, and online support, it is my hope that the group will grow and be used to give God glory through this vocation and sisterhood of motherhood.  The group is open to moms from any parish in Montgomery County, Maryland.  I can't wait to see what God does with this ministry!!

Here are the two groups to join if you want to get involved:

Our Big Tent site with our calendar of events (you must create an account to RSVP):
http://www.bigtent.com/group/catholicmoco

Our closed (private) Facebook group/Online community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1583762851866652

I would LOVE to have you join us! You are not alone; whether you need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone to encourage you, or someone to celebrate with you…welcome.

Here's to taking the plunge, and using our gifts.  May God be praised.

"In the silence of the heart, You speak." - @audreyassad #ashwednesday #catholic #projectblessed

My blood pressure refuses to behave itself, so instead of going to PT today, I am spending extra time with Mary. How can I pray for you today, friends? #CIDP #chronicillness #catholic #warrior #choosejoy

Words cannot express how thankful I am to have such an amazing family. With my new (super awesome, remote controlled LED candles) advent wreath, I am now able to fully participate in the joyful anticipation of this blessed season of Advent while in the hospital. My heart is happy and full! #theeverydayproject #thrivewhereistand #advent #catholic #CIDP

The bible reminds us time and time again to hope.  Hope continually, hope in His word, never lose hope.  

Hope can be so difficult to hold on to when life takes a crazy turn, but I know that God will use my new life with CIDP for His glory.  So I will wait with joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

And when you’re stuck in the hospital, you improvise. #advent #catholic #theeverydayproject

I think I may have a new hobby…God is using my time in the hospital for His glory! I can’t wait to fill the halls in the new house with more of His word.

The fruit of the Spirit - Galatians 5:22-23