Nothing shows a person's heart faster than a crisis. This is especially true if the crisis is a marathon, continuing for days or weeks with no end in sight. God has placed people in my life with such a heart of sacrifice and service. It is humbling, and inspires me daily.
My family.
They have made some of the biggest sacrifices in these last few months. As difficult as this journey has been for me, it has been just as trying for them; the uncertainty, the fear, the exhaustion…they are warriors, too. There are so many family members I could write about here, but today I will focus on my little unit; Thomas and Eli.
During my time away, my husband lost his wife. The dirty dishes, the laundry, the moving boxes, the need for companionship and encouragement…they didn't end just because I was in the hospital. So he sacrificed. His time, his comfort (rest, home cooked meals, time for reflection), his needs, his sanity…he fought to keep our family going when our life as we knew it came to a screeching halt. Watching the person you love become completely helpless in a matter of days is so frightening. Carrying on and putting a smile on your face asks that you reach to the depths of who you are and who God is. This fight begs for bravery you didn't know you had. Thomas is my rock on this earth. My lover, my best friend, my partner in this crazy life and the father of my children. I would be lost without his amazing soul in my life.
Eli may only be 18 months old (HOW did that happen??), but he also had to sacrifice while I was away. He lost his mama, and that breaks me. I cried every day for him, and even when he came to visit, it was too painful to hold him. He lost the mama that could lift him high and make him laugh, the mama who would sing the same set of songs each night before bed, and snuggle him just right. He is a warrior too, and I will never forget that. We are blessed abundantly, and Eli was cared for, played with and loved by family only a few minutes from the hospital. My mother in law is a warrior, you guys. She stepped in to love my little boy as her own without being asked. She took him into their home (so Thomas could continue to work) for weeks, where he was close enough to come visit me easily. There is no way to repay someone for that sacrifice. I am blown away by her incredible heart of service and love.
There are so many others, family and "family" who have done SO MUCH for us in these last few months. I wish I could take the time to acknowledge each of you here, but this post would become a book! Please know with certainty that your amazing sacrifices have not gone unnoticed or without appreciation. Someday soon, I will write a post about the amazing community of warriors I have found on this journey. You all amaze me.
Thank you is not enough. Those words will never be enough. So I will choose joy, living each day like the gift that it is, and loving fiercely until He calls me home; which, God willing, will be many beautiful years from today.
"You have called me higher, you have called me deeper, and I'l go where you will lead me, Lord." - Called Me Higher, Sons & Daughters
What a beautiful witness of love.
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